11 September 2013

The most boring day-in-the-life post ever!

 7:30. Wake up. 

The view from the bed could be a lot worse. At least it's colorful.

Bed. And bed made, whoo! Successful day so far, I think. Yes indeed.

Rain outside kitchen window. It's sixty-five degrees outside (and therefore inside, because of all the open windows), which is colder than this apartment has ever been in the three months I've lived here. It's pretty though, and smells nice, which makes up for having to wear socks. It's been raining a lot lately, which is pretty cool and lets me pretend I live in a place that has four seasons instead of two.
7:45. Finish the dishes that didn't get done yesterday.
Savor clean(er) kitchen. Make coffee.

Life pro tip: when your coffee tastes weird because it's been sitting in the back of your fridge for two months soaking up only-god-knows-what, put a bag of chai in it. It is now fancy and gourmet, and also non weird-tasting. Tada!
 8:30. Make breakfast.


The reason to cook your bacon at a lower temperature for a long time, instead of a higher temperature for a short time, is because it will express more of the fat that way. There are several reasons you want your finished bacons to have less fat:
     1. They will be extra crispy and delicious!
     2. Heart disease sucks.
     3. Less grease in your bacon means more
         grease in your bacon-grease cup, which you can cook with and will
              a. make everything taste just a teensy bit like bacon, which is awesome (especially pancakes), and
              b. save you money.

And you should always cook your eggs post-bacon so that they'll be warm when you eat and also have little bacon crunchies in them. Yay!
Delicious. It's blurry because a breakfast this great refuses to be photographed. The paparazzi had to work hard for this shot.

9:00. Eat breakfast while reading the news.

Today is the twelfth anniversary of 9/11, so the news is really sad. Other highlights include the president's speech about Syria (my opinion: Dude, nobody wants to go to war--again--right now. We've already got more wars than we know what to do with. I get that we're trying to protect oil interests in the Middle East and whatnot, but we've basically lost all our chances for that and we should just get the hell out of there before we accidentally start WW3. Okay? Okay.), more blather about the Utah Attorney General probe investigation, and something about sexting. Seriously, why is sexting always on the news? We get it, people send each other pictures of their junk. The NSA probably knows what 60% of the populations' genitals look like. Don't like it? Don't put your junk on the grid. Problem solved.

No seriously. Flatten the cans. You'll thank me later.

9:30. Put leftovers in the fridge. Squish the recyclable things so that they take up less room in the recycling bag and I don't have to take them out all the time.

10:00. (Re)Organize canned goods. Yes, even though I just did this last night.

I know what you're thinking. Damn, that's a lot of canned beans, girl. But you can never have too many cans of beans. Hey, Apocolypse--come at me, bro. I'm ready for ya.

10:30. Bathe. 

After bathing, notice how dirty the bathroom is. Damn it. Clean the bathroom. It doesn't look any less creepy, but at least it's sanitary now. Or it smells like chemicals, anyway, which is practically the same thing. Bleh.

11:00. Make tea. 

Just herbal this time, because I don't need any more caffeine. Not yet, anyway. There are no pictures here because I misplaced the camera for about two hours. No big.

12:00. Make tomorrow's lunch.

Ground beef + mac and cheese + frozen peas + pepper + tabasco + chili powder + more tabasco = chili mac with peas! Put it into two containers because it's not only tomorrow's lunch, it's also dinner tonight after work.

12:45. Make today's lunch.

No idea what today's lunch is, but it needs to be cooked right now. Starting with sauteing onions, because why not? Add some garlic, because I put garlic in almost everything and it's sure to be necessary.

Chop up carrots, cook those.

Find a whole bunch of forgotten celery in the fridge. Looks like the next few days are going to be celery-y, might was well start now. Chop that up too. Cook with the carrots.
Start to panic because things are actually happening in that pan and still no idea what lunch is. What has onions and carrots and celery? Cajun food? No cayenne (blasphemy, I know). French food? I don't know anything about french food. Just winging it here now. Add white wine. Good idea? Doesn't matter any more. Rosemary, 'cause it can't get any weirder now. Rice? Out of rice, plus don't really need any more starch today. Canned green beans? Sure. Rinse to trick brain into thinking the extra sodium is washed out. Half can? Don't even really like green beans, not going to find another thing to put them in. Full can. Huh. So this is lunch. Okay.

13:15. Eat lunch.

Blessedly, it doesn't taste like green beans. It taste's mostly like celery and onions, which is a success. Pats on the back all round, today's adventure was a success.

For your intermittent listening pleasure: 

Noah - 'Sexy and I Know It'    

The Mountain Goats - 'No Children'

13:50. Dishes again.

Repeat after me: You'll be happier when you come home to a clean kitchen. You don't have time to do dishes tomorrow. Don't make that face. Fuck you too. 

Okay, fine.

Sure, you can listen to Nirvana really loudly. It's the middle of the day, your neighbors aren't going to care. Have fun.

14:30. Get ready for work. 


14:45. Leave.

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