27 March 2013

First comes love, then comes marriage...


Do you know what this week is?

A good one.

Yesterday the Supreme Court heard the oral arguments in the California Prop 8 Case. Today are the arguments in the Defense of Marriage Act case.

In case you didn't know already, here is my opinion:

 So there.

I believe that any individual, regardless of gender or orientation, should have the option to marry any other individual. 

Period. None of this 'civil union' bullshit. Just two people, getting married, without anybody throwing rocks at them--no matter their genitalia. Love is love, and family is family. You don't need to be married to know love, and you don't need to be married to be a family (you don't even have to be legally married to be married); but if you want to get legally married you should be able to.

Personally, if my FLP (future life partner) is a man, I don't really care about marriage. I can take it or leave it, whatever. Maybe for taxes. Maybe if it matters to him. But if my FLP is a woman, I will marry. the. CRAP. out. of. her., with a big horrible obnoxious wedding that will take at least a year to plan, with flowers and dresses and cakes and favors and bridesmaids and bridesmen and a flower boy or girl. And if it's not legal in our state, we'll go somewhere it is legal and do it even bigger. And I'll invite every bigot I've ever met, just to make them squirm when they open the invitations and throw them away. So there.

And they say every girl has her wedding planned since childhood . . . Can I just say now that eloping is a much more attractive option?

Granted, it's easy for me to talk the big talk.

I am a chicken when it comes to romance. A big awkward chicken who can't read social ques. I'm always like She's really cute, but then I use a bazillion excuses to basically justify my cowardice and not do anything about it ever. And sometimes I start to do something about it and then talk myself out of it before it turns into anything.

I realize I've got all the time in the world, and I'm the president of it's-good-to-take-things-slow world; and maybe it's because I'm the only single person in my group of friends (again and still), or maybe it's because it's officially springtime now and everyone gets twitterpated in the springtime; but dammit I am tired of being single. So I'm giving myself a goal: I don't have to find myself a relationship, and nothing at all has to be successful or work out, but I have to stop being a chicken. ASAP.

Have a fabulous day.


20 March 2013


We're here today with the educational feature for the week: Name That Thing!

Three brownie points if you can tell me the technical name for this device:

No, it's not a thingmabob. Or a stretchy crowd controller.

It's called a stanchion. Cool, yeah? Yeah.

You're welcome.

(I keep almost calling them sturgeons every time, and every time I have to be all No, Irene. That's a fish.)




13 March 2013


It started at about six this morning. The cooing. The pigeons.

I hate pigeons.

I'm not super enthusiastic about birds in general, but other types aren't so bad. Chirping is annoying, but easy to tone out. Honking geese are actually pretty cool to see flying around, with their giant wings flapping. Crows are creepy, but harmless.

Not so pigeons.

It's the eyes. They're terrifying. And the cooing.

Coo. Coo. Coo.

There's a reason the passenger pigeons went extinct. They cooed early in the morning, and tired people everywhere threw things out their windows and killed them to shut them up.

I really just wanted to sleep this morning. I have a bazillionty bruises from yesterday's adventure, and sore muscles, and the endorphins that make you want to keep living and doing crazy things wear off once you go to sleep.

But the pigeons. There is only one solution: heavy metal. Really loud heavy metal.

Yes, at six in the morning. My walls are thick, the neighbors can't hear anything.

So I turned the music up really loud and was able to get another hour and a half of sleep.

Take that, you stupid birds. Civilization 1, Pigeons 0.

07 March 2013


Today I want to introduce you to one of my favorite webcomics.

I am a webcomic purveyor, I'll admit. I like them. A bunch. But I only have three or four favorites, and this is one of them:


2013-03-04: Feminist Utopia Fantasy Story

2012-11-23: Sassy Jesus

2008-11-27: Under Pressure

Not very many webcomics are updated daily. It's awesome. Sinfest is also one of the oldest webcomics out there, which means there are a bazillion hours of archives. A bazillion.



04 March 2013

the random turns political

What did you do this weekend?

I worked 27 hours in two days, which included over two hours of floor scrubbing, driving a commercial van with failing breaks through rush hour traffic downtown, boiling my fingerprints off, and getting completely covered in dishwater. I don't really mind being covered in dishwater, especially when I'm being paid overtime for it, but it wasn't exactly what I had in mind for my evening when I woke up on Saturday.

[I blew the dishwashing socks off some sad college dude who thinks he's worth more than minimum wage for minimum work. Boo-yah.]

And then this morning I gave some frat boy the university-sized version of my anarchy speech: Voting in school elections would be school spirit. Participation is endorsement. I really don't care where my student fees are going because I somehow conned the state into paying for 75% of my unnecessary diploma-seeking.

I do vote in real elections, because last year the government siphoned 16% of my income out of my paycheck, mostly into a social security system that'll be long bankrupt before I have the chance to get it back, and so far this year they're edging up on 19%. You know what I could do with that extra $50-$100 a paycheck? Afford health insurance, that's what. Probably with vision and dental. Take that, Democrats. And birth control. Take that, Republicans. And a cat. Take that, people who enjoy the loneliness of others.

I am anti-social security, because I am pro-insurance and birth control and pet ownership.

So there.