30 January 2012

Eventually, You Know, I Will Get My Act Together

Hello there.

This morning I decided I was a really really flexy person, and while that was pretty cool at the time my body is now screaming, "Thigh muscles! Thigh muscles! Ow! Ow! Thigh muscles! And I don't know what you did to make your shoulder blades feel like this, but they hurt too! And just so you didn't forget it's here, your knee still hurts! Ow! Ow! Thigh muscles!"

And I'm all, "Shut up! You do what I say! You totally thought it was fun and exciting this morning, so you don't get to change your opinion now!"

We're really into yelling here, apparently.


My ward choir (of which I am a member) sang the most awesome arrangement of 'Dear to the Heart of the Shepherd' yesterday. That was cool.

And then I was all drippy for the remainder of Sacrament Meeting. So that was less cool. It's impossible to sing the closing song when you've got tears leaking out of your face.


I hate to inundate you with less-than-appropriate biblical pieces, but this one's . . . oh gosh . . .

1 Kings 12:10-11
     And the young men that were grown up with him spake unto him, saying, Thus shalt thou speak unto this people that spake unto thee, saying, Thy father made our hoke heavy, but make thou it lighter unto us; thus shalt thou say unto them, My little finger shall be thicker than my father's loins.
     And how whereas my father did lade you with a heavy yoke, I will add to your yoke: my father hath chastised you with whips, but I will chastise you with scorpions.
Rehoboam did not have the most subtle of friends. I fell out of my chair I was laughing so hard. I still can't even type this without grinning like a loon and making the people around me at the library think I'm some crazy woman on crack or something. Hehe.


I totally just realized that I'm wearing both a lacy sweater and large clunky hiking boots. Cool. If this sweater wasn't so itchy I might do this more often.


The end.
Love always,
(אשלי שייפר)


Shaylee B said...

HAHA! Oh, Ashley. You are so, so amusing. :D I was reading in Helaman with my family a week or so ago and, I don't remember the exact chapter and verse, but it was something about they had "free intercourse" one with another. Yeah. I pretty much lost it. And only my parents got it. I was laughing for a loooong time. XD Thanks for the laugh, girl! :)

Ashley Schaffer said...

Seriously, it's the #1 reason I read the chapters we're going to talk about in Institute beforehand. Not really because I want to know what the lesson is about. Because I need to know when *not* to laugh. Brother C. is pretty rad and all, but I don't think he'd take kindly to me laughing at all these places... :)

Shaylee B said...

Smart. ;) :D

Post a Comment