26 October 2011

If I Were a Dominatrix...

I realize it's a funky title. Stay with me, here.

If I were a dominatrix... besides being called Lady Persephone... I would wear these boots:

These are $1395 calf leather boots from Jimmy Choo. Yeah.

Not to worry anyone,  though, because the likelihood of my becoming a dominatrix is slim to none. Here are the factors I considered, running over the numbers in the vastly practical difference engine that is my brain.

PROS (reasons to be a dominatrix):
  1. I would get to wear the boots.
  2. You announce that you're a dominatrix, people are very likely to be intimidated.
  3. One of these days I could star on a reality television show titled, 'Kids, Your Mom's a Domme'. It could be just like 'Sister Wives', only less pligy and with more chains.
CONS (reasons not to be a dominatrix):
  1. No matter where you are, the sex trade is tricky. Legalities fluctuate, depending on who's in the state legislature and who the major lobbies are... not to mention individual city council organizations... licensing could be tricky.
  2. Peak work hours are likely the reverse of 'normal' business hours. I would prefer to be home evenings, if at all possible.
  3. It could be slightly awkward to mention in Relief Society meetings. ("And we'd like to welcome a new member to the ward. Sister Schaffer has moved into the cul-de-sac near the park, and she works as a dominatrix.")
  4. Dominatrices probably need to have long, neatly manicured, painted acrylic fingernails. That ain't gonna happen in this lifetime, honey. I'm a pianist, and I can vividly imagine the very real possibility of nail-bed bruising. Not to mention that obnoxious clicky-clacky noise.
So, with a grand total of three pros and four cons, I decided not to take that career path. That is my method. The end.

Love always,
Ashley

Note: No submissives were harmed in the writing of this post.
:)

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