21 March 2011

Keep Yourself Alive...

All sorts of crazy things happen in this... establishment. It's a madhouse. A quippy madhouse. And so, in honor of starting this blog (Maybe. We'll see how things go on from here.), a small sampling of our typical carryings-on:


Before bed:


MOM: Short Stuff, stop, or I'll take your bedding out of the dryer and it won't be warm when you want to go to sleep.
SHORT STUFF: Eeep. Okay.
ASHLEY: Wow, Mom. Threats.
TALL ONE: Gettin' serious here.




Around the house:


SHORT STUFF: ...and then cut off my arm!
MOM: Ew! Ashley, see what you started?
ASHLEY: I didn't do it! It was the documentary on the telvision; the one they were watching with Dad, where that guy was--
MOM: Guys, just stop saying gross things.
TALL ONE: Flower.


~


ASHLEY: Two minus five is negative three.
SHORT STUFF: Nuh-uh.
ASHLEY: Yeah. Ask mom. Mom, what's two minus five?
MOM: Negative three.
ASHLEY: See? Ha! Told you!
SHORT STUFF: What? How?
MOM: Say you have two cookies, Short Stuff. And you have to give me five. Now how many cookies do you have left?
SHORT STUFF: Um... oh. Negative three.
MOM: Right. Now, listen. Ashley, say you have ten cookies, and you have to give me twenty. How many cookies to you have left?
ASHLEY: Ten.
MOM: Ha. True.


~


TALL ONE: It's the sparkles! They're sticking to my flesh! Creeps!




Re: 911 emergency service operating:


TALL ONE: Isn't it like speed-dating? You know; they call in, you spend however long on the phone, exchange personal information... what?




Family Night:


MOM: Alright, Short Stuff, what's something that makes people grow?
SHORT STUFF: Steroids!
MOM: ... Please don't say that in church.




While making dinner:


PRINCESS (absolutely serious): They don't use chopsticks in Connecticut, because they don't eat Mexican food there.
DAD and ASHLEY (after a long, incredulous pause): Bwahahahahah!
PRINCESS: What?




Overheard in the hallway:


FLAXEN: How do the speeders work?
SHORT STUFF: They run on lightsabers.




At the end of the day:


MOM: Whatcha doin'?
ASHLEY: Writing down everything we say.
MOM: No, really.




Well, that's all for today.


Keep smiling,
Ashley

1 comment:

f e l i c i t y ☂ said...

Bwahahahahah! Sounds as entertaining as the things you would hear at my house!

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